And so it ends...

Breastfeeding, that is.

After a much harder job maintaining breastfeeding with Kate than we had with Finn, we finally decided to end it. It was a mutual decision between Kate and myself, with my hubby's guidance, as well, on the final decision to end.

That makes the very last time I will breastfeed one of my children Saturday, Feb 28th, 2009--approx. 7:30am. It was a nice last time, at least.

I've talked with some of my playgroup Mom friends about the desire to know when the last time is going to be so that you can really enjoy it. Well, I have to say that I really haven't enjoyed breastfeeding Kate over these last few months. I'm happy I've done it, but it's alternated between being painful (and bloody--yuck!) for me, and being okay for me but upsetting for her, as if she didn't want it or wasn't get what she wanted out of it. I don't know why that would be--everytime she would start nursing and then break off wailing I would check to see if there was any flow and there certainly would be. I can't explain it. Lately we've wondered if she's had an ear infection and the pressure from the suction has been bothering her, but we can't find any other evidence of an ear infection (no fever, no prolonged crying). We were at a loss.

She's fine with taking a bottle, and since she's only about 11 months old, we will probably be doing some bottles of formula between now and when she turns 1 year. My preference would be to minimize that--I feel like these deadlines that the doctors make sound so hard-and-fast really don't need to be that black-and-white. She's almost a year; she eats plenty of pureed baby food, she loves yogurt, and pretty soon we'll go ahead and start her on whole milk. I really think that should be fine.

I'm not sad per se, but I do feel frustrated for not being able to finish out the year, which is what I wanted for her. I haven't actually brought up at playgroup that she was so close to being weaned, and it might be because I feel a little like this is a failure. Not necessarily one that rests squarely on my shoulders, but still... My hubby, my Mom, and a couple of other people who I've talked to about it have been very helpful in subtly reminding me (or not so subtly telling me right out) that this is not a failure, not a problem. This is a child who is very healthy and who benefited from breastfeeding for 11 months... quite a bit longer than the majority of moms nurse their children (if they do at all). I've always maintained that I don't have any concerns about mothers who choose not to nurse at all--so it might seem hypocritcal of me to be a bit sad now that we're starting up with formula. Really, though, my concern is not with Kate's health and the so-called "evils" of formula. I'm just a little frustrated that it didn't go as smoothly as with Finn. I'm still planning to get some nice bonding time with bottle-feeding for the next month, and by writing all of this out, I'm hoping to get the 1-month-short-of-a-year frustration out of my system.

And as I mentioned, the last time was nice. Kate took one side pleasantly (after wailing when I tried to give her the other side for no reason that I could figure out). We had a short but painless and fuss-free feeding and I watched her intently while she nursed and tried to make a mental moment out of it--having the feeling it might be the last time.

New pics and such

Here are some great pictures of the kids that our friend took at New Year's. Kate often puts her hand in her mouth this way. She also tends, while breastfeeding, to put her hand up to her forehead backwards (palm facing out) in a somewhat similar position to this. I wonder if she's thinking "Woe is me!" when she does it. It's kind of a woe-is-me sort of gesture.

Another new gesture besides clapping and waving--"So big"! I love that one. I never really knew about this phenomenon until after I had kids--"How big is Katie?" You ask. Then she puts her hands up high and you say "SOOO big!" It's as sweet as anything that ever was! She also has done both kinds of waving now (close and open the hand, and swivel the wrist). Betcha you didn't know there were two kinds... but there are. Actually, I'm thinking the Miss America wave is slightly different than either of these, so maybe there are three kinds, or more!

She is still a complete chatterbox when she's home, but when we go to see people she doesn't always show it, at least not right away. She takes a good while to get used to new places and new people. Sometimes she even stares warily at new people until she gets settled in. But she's definitely moving her language along--when we say "clap clap" to her, she responds back with a vocalization that sounds very close to "clap clap."

She's also getting closer to crawling. She'll move forward onto her hands and knees from a sitted position, but then her one leg gets stuck underneath and she just rocks back and forth. If she makes it over the stuck leg, using momentum, she ends up sprawled out on her belly. She doesn't mind at all, but it isn't quite crawling. She's clearly gonna be a mover and a shaker, though!



I like this picture of Finn, but at the same time it doesn't quite look like Finn to me. The mouth position is off, although I think it was just that he was caught in the middle of saying something.

Finn's language is getting more and more sophisticated, although I can't quite think of the best examples right now. He sometimes calls us "parents." He likes to sing the alternate verse to Row Row Row Your Boat (the one that ends: "Ha ha, fooled you, I'm a submarine!"). Actually, we all like singing that. :)

He sometime sulks as if he's a teenager, or at least so it seems to me. "I don't want to do nothin" he'll say in a dejected voice. I hope he's just getting it out of his system early. No major progress on the potty training front. We're looking at preschools this week, so hopefully potty training is somewhere on the horizon. He still thinks Mommy and Daddy and Katie and Bobby are his best friends! Thank goodness for those moments!

Have to run... I'm not supposed to be blogging; I'm supposed to be heading home from work.

Long time...

It's been a busy few months. Hence, no posts. Here are some of the things that have been happening (in no particular order).

Kate:

Teeth--as in 6 new ones.

Breastfeeding has had some pretty low downs (in part, see note above re: teeth). I've never been the kind of mom who feels all glow-y about breastfeeding to begin with, and really I'm just looking forward to being done with it, although I plan to keep going up to 1 year with Kate, if she's game.

Lots of babbling--she's a chatty girl. She really wants to talk.

Sitting up. Not much progression toward crawling, but she will sit up on her hands and knees with support.

My favorite new things: waves hi and claps!

Finn:

Tried potty training. Dismal failure. Became a serious issue, lots of fussy and crying ("I don't want to sit on the potty!"), like that. Even though he had a few successes, we had to stop for a while. It was just too frustrating for all of us, and I didn't want it to become some big psychological hang-up (for any of us). Recently tried introducing the potty again. Some successes with that here and there. He's definitely able to use it. He has twice pulled down his pull-up and used it (pee one time, poop the other). We're very excited about that, and lavish praise on him, but we're trying to still be casual about it. It's just there (i.e., the potty); if he uses it great, if not, well, fine. I am looking forward to not spending the extra money on diapers though.

Definitely a full-blown 3-year-old, with all of the appropriate aspects: temper tantrums, willfulness, "I want to do it myself", "No!", etc. Somehow we'll survive. If anyone knows how, let me know.

I don't want to leave off on a bad note, re: Finn, so here's some nice things. He tells great stories about what he and his Mario friends are doing. He reads letters really well. He definitely knows that letters make up words, which I'm really excited about. And lastly, he says "gank you" in the cutest way.

Here are some recent pics, and that's all for now. School starts soon, so there may be another break before I post again, or maybe I'll have my act together this semester.

I don't easily get on to post lately...

Finn has lately taken to adding the word "easily" to a lot of sentences, and in a couple of different ways. It can mean that the thing really is difficult to do--"It doesn't easily come off." (about one's pants, say)--or it's really just not a thing I want to do--"I don't easily do that, Mommy" (about eating dinner, using the potty, etc.). It's quite endearing. Makes it a bit more difficult to say "Sit down and eat your dinner, kiddo!"

By the way, a week or so ago, miracle of miracles...A couple of peas passed through those lips, through those most sealed of gates when it comes to all things vegetable and fruit (excluding juice). And I mean voluntarily! I'm not saying it's happened again since then, but perhaps things are looking up!


I recently looked back at old pics of Finn and noticed that, relative to what Kate looks like, he seemed much further developed at 6 months. I don't just mean bigger... he was certainly that, but I look at how much longer his hair was and even his face seemed less little-babyish. My friends say it's just a second-baby perceptual thing, but I don't know. I'll have to get a very recent pic of Kate onto my work computer and then I'll post them side by side for comparison. Maybe I'll get to that later today.

Keeping it equal

Here are some pics of Finn. I wouldn't want to look back and find that I had posted Kate's pics and then not found the time to put up a few for Finn, so here are a couple; the frontal view pic is fairly recent (3 years, 4 months).

On that subject--how to keep it equal--Christmas is coming up, and while this year it won't be such a big concern, it is in the back of my mind that somehow I want to find a way to keep Christmas (presents and such) fairly equal for my two kids without (and this is the key and the point of difficulty) making myself insane at the same time. I'm certainly not planning to worry about the actual dollars and cents of it, but on some level I do feel that fairness should come in here somewhere. On the other hand, I don't want to feel compelled to run out on Christmas eve some years in order to find that last little thing that will make the two sides even. An interesting quandary...

My first blog pics, and Kate's first rice cereal

So here's the first (well, actually the second, but the result was largely the same) foray into solids for Kate! Rice cereal went down nicely. No particularly funny reactions, but then again, this stuff is about the most tastelest thing on the planet. She liked playing with it in her mouth and pushing some of it back out. As you can see, she also decided she wants to be a "big girl" and do it herself.

Sorry the pics are little blurry... we're having camera troubles. But yay me, I figured out how to add pictures (yes, even I can eventually figure out what the little picture-icon button at the top of the screen means). Next step... figure out how to get everything laid out nicely on the page. A task for another night.

Finn told me about a dream he had the other night that apparently involved pirates and falling into the sky. The funniest part was the end. This was apparently a "bad" dream, not a "good" dream, and I was trying to figure out when it happened, so I asked him "Was this why you were crying when you woke up from nap today?" His response--"Yes...(pause, clearly changing his mind)...no, I wouldn't cry from that dream, Mommy." Ah, the inner workings of the 3-year-old mind.

Kind of going along with the above, one of Finn's favorite things to do these days is to tell stories. His favorite topic is Mario. Yes, I know... my 3-year-old does play Mario games... he's catching one of his parents' main vices. I spend a lot of time feeling ashamed and/or apologetic about this, but I'm not feeling up to that right now...so sue me. While there are a lot of things I don't like about his playing these games, let me tell you what I do like. His memory and/or his communication about his memory has been developing amazingly through this. He likes to go over the story line and tell you all about the little things that Mario did in great, great detail. A lot of the time this will include the person playing the game (e.g., "Mommy tried to climb the roof, but she couldn't do it." or "Daddy swam through the tunnel and he went on the blocks and he got the star."). Other times he just talk about Mario as the main character. He's so eager to tell his stories that he's started trying to get the attention of other kids his age. It's the first completely self-initiated non-parallel kind of play that I've really seen in him.

The other thing I like about it is that it emphasizes the importance of sequencing. You've got to break the block, then raise the water level, then swim down into the hole. You can't do those things in a different order. A lot of life has this kind of sequencing in it (e.g., you have to put your arms into the sleeves and then button the shirt), and I think it's really neat to see him picking that up. See, now, don't you feel better about all this game playing. I know I do. For now.

We have started using a chart system with stickers to try and limit the TV/computer time for Finn. He gets a certain amount of time per day (broken up into half-hour blocks) and he puts a star sticker into the grid when he uses up one of the blocks. Then, once he's filled them all in for the day, he doesn't get any more (no, I'm not going to say how much time it is total; it hits too close to my shame/guilt button). We're trying to use stickers to reward potty behavior, too. So far, not much progress on that end (haha) and I think, lately, a little regression away from the ultimate goal. Sigh.


On the Kate front, things are well. She's still super vocal, chatting all the time with whoever will sit with her, or with her blue froggy (seems to be the forerunner in the favorite-toy race), or just by herself. Once she starts talking, we are definitely in trouble. She's just about exactly 6 months now, so we should be starting some solids (rice cereal, etc.) very soon. Stay tuned!